Consent Models & Educators
Consent education with Mia is an amazing social media account that discusses the Yes to No Spectrum. If you sign up for their newsletter you can receive a mini-workbook.
Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent is an amazing resource for understanding consent. Check out the videos on her page and download the 3minute game to play with a partner.
The stoplight model of consent involves changing the activity depending on how both parties are feeling. If both parties are consenting and feel excited moving forward, that is a green light. If one or more parties is unsure or might be reaching their boundary that is a yellow light! Yellow lights are a good opportunity to slow down or check in with each other. A red light means that one or more partners has reached a boundary. This means that the activity should stop and that everyone involved should check in and consider how to proceed. This could include changing the activity or moving into aftercare.
- Freely given. Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.
Informed. You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.
Enthusiastic. When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do.
Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like having sex).