Defining Sexuality
Sexuality encompasses nearly every aspect of our being, from attitudes and values, to feelings and experiences. It is influenced by the individual, family, culture, religion/spirituality, laws, professions, institutions, science, and politics.
- Sensuality: Our level of awareness, acceptance, and enjoyment of our own and others’ bodies
- Intimacy: Our ability to express and have a need for closeness with another person. This can include different relationship structures (ethical non-monogamy, queer platonic relationships, polyamory, monogamy, etc.)
- Sexual Identity: the sense of who one is as a sexual person including gender identity, gender expression, and to whom one is attracted to.
- Gender identity — a person's internal sense of being which may include woman, man, genderqueer, non-binary, agender, etc.
- Sexual and Romantic orientation — who we are sexually attracted to (straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, pansexual…)
- Attraction including emotional, sexual, aesthetic, romantic, sensual, intellectual, etc.
- Sexual Health and Reproduction: the sexual and reproductive biological systems. This includes how one cares for their body and health.
- Sexual Power and Agency (Sexualization): this involves the use of power within sexual relations including: power within, power to influence, power with others to negotiate and decide, and power over others.
Not everyone has the same definition of sex and what it may involve. When you are talking with your partner, be clear about your desires and boundaries.
Sexual Health Bill of Rights
It’s up to you to get what you want from sex and to avoid what you don’t want. Get to know yourself, and know your body. Know what you want out of the sexual relationship. What do you find sexually appealing? What feels good to you? What are your limits? Know what kinds of things you are willing to participate in and what things you won’t within a sexual relationship.
Create your own Sexual Health Bill of Rights. Here are some examples:
- I have the right to own my own body.
- I have a right to my own feelings, beliefs, opinions and perceptions.
- I have a right to trust my own values about sexual conduct.
- I have a right to set my own sexual limits
- I have a right to say no.
- I have a right to say yes.
- I have a right to experience sexual pleasure.
- I have a right to remain celibate.
- I have a right to be sexually assertive.
- I have a right to be the initiator in a sexual relationship.
- I have a right to be in control of my sexual experiences.
- I have a right to have a loving partner.
- I have a right to my sexual orientation and preferences.
- I have a right to have a partner who respects me, understands me, and is willing to communicate with me.
- I have a right to talk to my partner about incest/child sexual abuse/rape.
I have a right to ask questions and receive accurate sexual information.
