mundane object: the sink

                    in the cavity of brain / enjambment after enjambment / or
                    just jam / or the butting up of thought after thought /
                    turning one another over / debilitating in deconstruction /
                    seizure of life lines / and then we are there / this blubbering body
                    / spewing words that do not connect / to other words /
                    or other bodies / with the threadbare stitching of the / word
                    seaming / tears muddling with loose snot / and hair /
                    staining its way down the face / and sure this is the moment
                    we are in it / but also not / also watching from across or
                    behind this body / cauterized from ourself / both / banging
                    against the steel door / of will / that our shoulder is no
                    match for / and negotiating the release / until the brain
                    cracks the door / open just enough / to slip half way back /
                    inside this heap / to run racing /  to a sink / throwing a lever
                    / spilling cold / plug the drain and drown / our wrists /
                    trying to snap  / out of / out / of / it / but the shakes keep
                    coming / and our skull half falls / half slams into the faucet
                    / steel and unyielding / the body shaking / gutting sobs
                    / we cannot stop / and sputtering / sorry / to the hand of our
                    lover heavy / on our spine / him too unable to do / anything
                    but watch / this little horror show / the cyclical nature of the
                    brain / and knowing there will never be a normal / only
                    always good days and then, of course, bad / our legs
                    threaten collapse as convulsions beat and beat and beat /
                    and threaten break / so there is nothing left / and then in
                    goes our head / glacial runoff / numbing us out and back
                    into ourself / and part of us wonders if our lover / would
                    like to hold our head under / not let us up / a permanent
                    submersion solution / but his hand stays on our back / and
                    he stays at our side / and the water fills our nostrils /
                    threatening but / we are not a drowning victim / we are not
                    a statistic / we are not a clear cut easy answer / and the cold
                    we are submerged in knows that / better than us / and that is
                    why we came here / to break the cycle / to grow / and finally,

                    our wet face rises from the water and we begin, again,


                    to breathe.

E.A. MIDNIGHT is a neurodivergent artist specializing in multi-modal, cross-genre hybridities. She is a strong advocate for challenging the boxes creative bodies are put in. In 2017, she was the recipient of the PEN North American/Goddard Scholarship Award and holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College. A full list of her published pieces can be found on her site: www.eamidnight.com.