E.A. MIDNIGHT
mundane object: the sink
in the cavity of brain / enjambment after enjambment / or
just jam / or the butting up of thought after thought /
turning one another over / debilitating in deconstruction /
seizure of life lines / and then we are there / this blubbering body
/ spewing words that do not connect / to other words /
or other bodies / with the threadbare stitching of the / word
seaming / tears muddling with loose snot / and hair /
staining its way down the face / and sure this is the moment
we are in it / but also not / also watching from across or
behind this body / cauterized from ourself / both / banging
against the steel door / of will / that our shoulder is no
match for / and negotiating the release / until the brain
cracks the door / open just enough / to slip half way back /
inside this heap / to run racing / to a sink / throwing a lever
/ spilling cold / plug the drain and drown / our wrists /
trying to snap / out of / out / of / it / but the shakes keep
coming / and our skull half falls / half slams into the faucet
/ steel and unyielding / the body shaking / gutting sobs
/ we cannot stop / and sputtering / sorry / to the hand of our
lover heavy / on our spine / him too unable to do / anything
but watch / this little horror show / the cyclical nature of the
brain / and knowing there will never be a normal / only
always good days and then, of course, bad / our legs
threaten collapse as convulsions beat and beat and beat /
and threaten break / so there is nothing left / and then in
goes our head / glacial runoff / numbing us out and back
into ourself / and part of us wonders if our lover / would
like to hold our head under / not let us up / a permanent
submersion solution / but his hand stays on our back / and
he stays at our side / and the water fills our nostrils /
threatening but / we are not a drowning victim / we are not
a statistic / we are not a clear cut easy answer / and the cold
we are submerged in knows that / better than us / and that is
why we came here / to break the cycle / to grow / and finally,
our wet face rises from the water and we begin, again,
to breathe.