Nothing, according to Dan Wulff, an assistant professor in the Kent School of Social Work and a family therapist. You're just experiencing what thousands of other parents whose last child is leaving home for the Ivy Halls this fall are going through.

You've come down with a case of the "empty nest syndrome."

Wulff has encountered many such instances in his 25 years of counseling families. And, as a father of four whose youngest will be leaving for university this fall, too, he knows what that empty nest feeling is all about.

"Generally any transition point in the life of a family can lead to trouble, whether the child is going to kindergarten or college," he says. "Roles are shifting and the patterns of how family members interact are shifting, too."

A mother, for example, might have spent much of her time engrossed in her son's school activities. That part of her life is now over and she feels like she's losing her identity.

Or her daughter might have been her confidante, so when she announces she wants to live on campus at U of L-or maybe even take off for the University of Alaska-Mom feels betrayed.

"All we kids heard from our parents when we were growing up was how when we were 18 'we were out of the house,' " laughs one U of L junior, who prefers to remain anonymous. "But now that I'm gone Mom calls all the time asking if I want to come home for dinner."

Fathers face a whole different set of issues, Wulff notes.

"On the surface, it often appears harder for women to let go. In reality, they are probably dealing with it better as it's OK for them to show how they feel," he explains. "Men, however, are taught by society to be tough and strong. We're pretty bottled up."

The result is that females often get emotional trauma out of their system much faster than males do, Wulff says. And the longer anyone, no matter what gender, lets feelings fester, the worse the problem becomes.

It sometimes boils over into marital strife.

"This might be the first time a couple has been alone since the kids were born," Wulff says, "and with the kids no longer around to serve as a buffer, it's a ripe time for problems to surface between them."

Single parents aren't immune. One mother was so lonesome when her only child went off to college that she would work extra long hours, often continuing into the night, on her job as a computer programmer. She simply hated the thought of going home to an empty house.

"Those who seem to cope best are those who have maintained their identity all along and have done things without the kids," he adds. "Families who have had a history of transition in their lives, whether it was moving around a lot or changing jobs frequently, have a leg up, too."

What advice does he offer those who are having a tough time dealing with the child's impending departure?

Everyone is unique in how he or she is affected by and approaches the empty nest stage of life, Wulff says, but they can all benefit from working out a plan.

"I don't want to give the impression that it's easily resolved-it's actually a thorny thing," Wulff says. "But if you're a couple, you need to sit down and talk about what your life will be like once the children have left. Get it all lined up and then stay focused."

This doesn't necessarily mean both parents have to have the same thoughts about how they will cope, but at least have a pragmatic understanding that no matter what you come up with or whose idea it was, you will work together.

"The strategy isn't as vital as is the power of both parents pulling the same wagon," Wulff says. "Any plan will probably work if you do it as a team."

Single parents might talk to others in their situation who have made a smooth transition from full to empty nest.

Sometimes it's just a matter of getting used to the new situation. After a few months of her daughter being away, for instance, the single mother mentioned earlier began to value her time alone. She discovered that she finally could read a novel uninterrupted or work on her needlepoint-something she'd always enjoyed but had mostly put aside during her mothering years while she devoted her free time to her child.

Blended families in particular experience special circumstances, Wulff says.

"Step parents often encounter complications trying to figure out what their role in the launch process should be," he explains. "They might feel that the biological parents have a greater say, but it all comes down to working out compromises."

Finally, once your plan is set share it with your child and then give him or her a chance to express any fears, thoughts and hopes, too.

"This will help you all get through it," Wulff says.

"A transition exposes cracks that may always have been there but until now were just slid over," he adds. "But it can be a good opportunity for repairing them too."