The Entirely Unofficial

The great success of Project ORION has stimulated much interest in other constituencies, and the project has taken on new responsibilities.   Team leaders assure us that the staff requirements for these projects can be met by additional resources provided by our partners at the remote ORION sites where the project is being implemented.  All project documents and schedules are being updated to accommodate these new undertakings.

The University of West Bohemia has contracted with Project ORION for encrypted document services.  Details.

Non-academic partners outside the metro Louisville area are developing records management and data transfer protocols under the Project ORION umbrella.  Details.

In a truly galacatic instance of "scope-creep," NASA has joined Project ORION to clean up more than data.  Details.

As one observer noted, success is its own punishment.
 

Double-take Some supposedly genuine comments and instructions recently reported in a business magazine: As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.  - - -  What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.  - - -  Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.  - - -  E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.  - - -  Please disregard the following announcement. . .

New HR/SA Module Announced Do you have a boss who can never be found when needed? Are students missing too many classes for their own good? Problems like these will disappear with the implementation of the latest software module, planned for immediate release: the Higher Ed combined Classroom/Office/Home Incarceration Multi-Pak. Now the power of the integrated database will be at your fingertips, and hard-to-find colleagues will be at your beck and call. Used in connection with Schedule 25, no one will be able to escape to a quiet corner without your permission! Department chairs and program directors will especially like the guaranteed "office hours" feature: errant faculty can be recalled from library, conference room or golf course to stay throughout the prescribed hours, regardless of personal inclination! With the special 95/NT bolt-on, staff and faculty can be electronically riveted to their desks, counters, workstations or vehicles -- wherever these resources are most desirable to fulfill unit Enabling Plans. Only one person in each unit/department will have security clearance for multi-pak access, so check the prototyping calendar for the session that interests you, and configure your panels so that your name is on the list today!!!  A HelpDesk assistant speaks out--for more information, follow this link.