Steps to Setting Boundaries:

1. Describe the behavior we find unacceptable, being as descriptive as possible.
   
   Don’t Say:   “I hate the way you treat me when we argue.”
   
   Say: “When we argue and you yell at me, I get really upset. I feel you’re not treating me with respect.”
2. Tell the other person what we will do to take care of ourselves should they overstep the boundary.
   
   “The next time we argue and you start yelling at me, I’m going to leave.   I may leave the house or I may just go to another room, but I won’t talk to you until you’ve calmed down.”
3. If they won’t take “no” for an answer, we repeat our position.
4. Follow through with the consequences if the boundary is breached.   This is one of the most important steps.   We have to mean business.
5. Feel good about our decision to say no.  After all, it is our right and our choice!