I had a student ask me recently, “Why should I use mediation instead of counseling? What’s the difference?” Well, that’s a good question. Having been a mental health therapist for seven years, when I was trained as a mediator year in 2002, I was struck by how similar a mediator’s skills are to those used by a counselor.

Counselors and mediators both use skills such as:

• Active Listening,
• Empathy, and
• Paraphrasing.

However, let’s not get bogged down with terminology. Basically, what this means is that mediators and therapists make sure they:

1. Understand the ideas that students are trying to get across,
2. Understand students’ true feelings, and
3. Provide a nonjudgemental setting for students to address their concerns.

In addition, mediation and counseling are alike in that they are both about:

• Empowering students to make positive changes in their lives, and
• Learning skills to communicate more effectively with others.

Nevertheless, I would say there are three main differences between therapy and mediation. First, mediators are trained to use neutral language to help convey their impartiality. So, if a student were to describe an “argument” with her classmate, a mediator is more apt to use the term “discussion” or “talk” to describe the same event.

Counselors, on the other hand, are more likely to use “argument”—simply because the student used it. It’s a matter of difference in technique, really. I don’t think it’s a difference that should cause anyone much concern. It is something to be aware of, however.

Second, mediation differs from therapy because it’s a structured process that will vary only slightly (if at all) between mediations. Generally, mediations include a certain number of steps which involve the following:

• The mediator or mediators explaining their role as mediator,
• Each student telling their side of the story,
• The students brainstorming possible solutions to their conflict, and
• the students deciding on a solution to use.

A therapy session may or may not include these steps and may/may not be so highly structured. It all depends on the counselor’s style.

Third, mediation typically involves students writing out their agreement or solution, while counseling does not. I hope the prospect of writing something down doesn’t scare you away from mediation. I know students may think that a written agreement will haunt them in the future; the means by which relentless university administrators or staff give students trouble should the agreement fall through.

Let me say that this will not happen with any agreements made with PRISM’s help. I would like to add too, that students who use PRISM’s mediation services are not required to put their solution in writing—it may be a verbal agreement if that’s what they want.

So, in summary, there are three main differences between the processes of counseling and mediation. They are:

1. Mediators typically use neutral language with students while therapists may not,
2. The mediation process usually follows a distinct set of steps while the counseling process does not, and
3. Generally mediation ends with an agreement in writing, while agreements made in therapy aren’t recorded in a written contract.

I hope this answers your questions about mediation and counseling. If you’re still skeptical about mediation, I respect that. You should try to learn as much about it before you consider using it. Just try to remember that it’s good to be open-minded about learning new things. You could find yourself acquiring some conflict resolution skills that will benefit you long after you graduate from college.