Introduction, Part One

Davis’ book is straightforward and easy to read, and she includes many true stories of reconciliation with people who have various degrees of adversity to overcome. She gives encouragement and hope to readers while offering a realistic view of what we can expect as we travel the road from estrangement to reconciliation.

If you find this review helpful, I recommend that you read the book for yourself and that you pay attention to the personal stories of conflict resolution that she includes. I believe much can be learned from these examples.

Davis’ Initial Thoughts on Reconciliation

Laura Davis begins her dialogue on reconciliation by outlining the three assumptions she first made about what makes restoration with others possible. They are:

1. Reconciliation must take place slowly.
2. Reconciliation can only occur when people talk openly about their differences and about what caused the rift between them.
3. In situations where sexual and/or physical abuse were prevalent, reconciliation can only happen when a perpetrator acknowledges what (s)he did wrong.

Davis says that these assumptions were disapproved again and again, as she found that the path of resolving conflict with another was as individual as the persons involved in the process.

Personal Traits Important in Achieving True Reconciliation

Nevertheless, she does identify several characteristics that she found to be common among those who had achieved reunification with another. Please note that I have selected to highlight several, but not all, of these traits. I have also defined a few of these traits so that we may all be on the same page as to their meanings.

• Maturity
• Determination
• Honesty
• Courage: the attitude of facing and dealing with anything recognized as dangerous or painful despite feeling afraid about doing so.
• Autonomy: the sense in which one knows who they are, what they value and believe in, and how they are different from others.
• Accountability: the state of being responsible for/ acknowledging one’s actions, right or wrong, and their subsequent consequences.