What Does It Mean to Be Assertive?

Webster’s New World Dictionary defines asserting oneself as: insisting on one’s rights or on being recognized.   Therefore, being Assertive means that we learn to do several things for ourselves.

This means that we:

• Develop Nonverbal Assertive Behaviors
• Exercise our Basic Rights as Human Beings, and
• Develop Assertive Responses.

Nonverbal Assertive Behaviors

How we hold or carry our bodies lets others know we intend to be heard and taken seriously.   We can demonstrate our assertiveness by doing the following things:

• Looking Directly at Another Person when We’re Talking to Them.   If you’re uncomfortable maintaining eye contact with others, practice it.   It’ll get easier and easier the more you do it. Eventually, you’ll be looking others in the eye without giving a second thought to it.
• Keeping our Posture Open.   This can be accomplished by not crossing our arms or legs. (Crossing one’s arms usually indicates that we want to stop the conversation or interaction.)   We also need to stand up straight and stand right in front of the people we’re addressing.
• Literally Standing our Ground.  It’s best if we stay where we are, neither moving back nor away from the other person.
• Staying Calm.  If we’re angry or upset, we need to express these feelings elsewhere before we attempt being assertive with anyone.