OK, So Maybe I'll . . . Apologize

Over the past several months, I’ve found it interesting that several well-known fashion magazines like Oprah and Good Housekeeping have featured articles on the art of apologizing.  In today’s world, I think an “I’m sorry” is hard to come by.   If you’re anything like me, you find yourself disappointed when you do get an apology because the apology you received didn’t meet your needs.   I think this is an all too common occurrence.   With this in mind, here are a few words on how to apologize effectively or in a way that promotes the healing of the one we’ve wronged.

1. Be Sincere.  We shouldn’t say were sorry if we don’t mean it.   We’ll only hurt our relationships more if we apologize only out of a sense of obligation, or just because we think it’s expected of us.

2. Apologize as Soon as Possible.  This means we need to say we’re sorry as soon as we realize that we’ve done something wrong.   Most of us find this a difficult and awkward task, because we don’t like admitting our mistakes.   However, the longer we wait to apologize, the more we risk doing irreparable damage to our relationship with that other person.

3. Be as Specific as Possible.  The best way to apologize is to say exactly what we did wrong.   And, if we have to, we need to be brutally honest about our behavior.   We shouldn’t minimize our actions nor minimize how what we did affected the other person.

4. Explain Behavior if Necessary.  When we hurt someone by wronging them, often what can help the other person heal is for them to understand the motives and intentions behind our actions.   This may require that we do some serious thinking about our motives or personal agendas.

5. Express Remorse.   Letting our friend know that we honestly regret hurting them needs to be done carefully.   This is due to the fact that how we word our thoughts can convey the idea that we really aren’t assuming responsibility for our actions.Nbsp; Therefore, “I’m sorry I hurt you” should be used instead of “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

6. If Possible, Make Reparations.   Finally, we need to offer to do something that will help put our relationship back in good standing.   Then, we should do it with a good attitude.   And, if we’re not sure what we can do to help repair the situation, then we should by all means ask.