●  When your adolescent challenges the fairness and legitimacy of your rules, don’t try to defend your responsibilities as a parent.  Instead, agree with them that it’s hard for anyone (adults included) when their freedom is limited by others.  Remind them how your freedom is restricted by having to go to work everyday, having to pay bills, etc.

●  Don’t buy into the myth that teenagers can’t resist peer pressure, and that  therefore parents cannot hope to set standards that will conflict with their children's peer group.  Dr. Kaye asserts that parents should decide that they are more powerful than any of their child’s peer influences.  He states this is due to the fact that, regardless of how hard your adolescent may test you, she still wants your approval, your respect, and your confidence that she will succeed in the outside world.

●  Don’t assume that all peer pressure is negative.  Parents can enhance the positive effects of peer pressure in several ways.  They can establish a good relationship with their child’s friends by being available to them and by being good listeners to them.  Kaye also suggests that parents enlist the help of their teenager’s friends by making them aware of concerns they have for their child.  In this way, friends can hold each other accountable for doing homework and being courteous to others, etc.

●  Influence your teenager’s choice of friends.  Dr. Kenneth Kaye says the best way to approach this is through rules about friends’ behavior.  ( For instance, no smoking in the house, no cussing, no teasing pets or younger siblings.)   This will indirectly encourage kids to pick responsible friends.  Kaye warns that parents who make judgments about their children’s friends based on appearance, race, religion, or social status risk losing their teenagers’ respect.  He says these kids may also reject their parents’ opinions.